


Kiss Me Goodbye

by takataka (orphan_account)



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-10 20:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18415367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/takataka
Summary: There were times when he just wanted, simply, to be in love and forget about the world...but at some point, it became reality that nothing could truly be solved so easily.





	Kiss Me Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fishysama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishysama/gifts).



"Masamune, what are you doing?"  
  
Of course, Yokozawa would be the one to know him best. It was obvious from the look in his eyes, watching the new editor like a hawk. But Takano's eyes were never full of anything dark-- that look...his best friend knew it well. Clearly it had been love, and Yokozawa knew that from the first time he saw those hazel eyes, stuck to his subordinate. Was it so selfish to want to protect his loving friend?   
  
Takano pushed up on his glasses, loose on his face. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he also knew that Yokozawa wasn't the type  _not_ to notice. He ignored him despite this.  
  
It should've been clear then; friendship was black and white, there was no way to choose between that closeness compared to love, but ultimately, someone had to come to a decision. 

 

Sitting on his bed one early evening, Takano had dressed loosely, unconsciously remembering the blade hidden underneath his pillow. He recalled a time Ritsu had found it there, cold in the morning light, and he'd made the excuse that it was for protection.

"You never know if someone could come in to rob you, right?"  
  
It was an obvious lie, but he used it coolly, already knowing Ritsu would never be one to realize the truth on his own. He could be so slow sometimes. 

Maybe it was sad, but he closed his eyes to the darkness anyway, only thinking of love. Takano was someone who could, surprisingly, be hurt quite easily. Where did this love come from, and why did it haunt him so? He clenched the sheets beneath him, repeating it in his head that he didn't have to do this, that maybe things would get better.   
  
He wished so desperately to love Ritsu forever. It wasn't wrong to dream as much, right?  
  
There was no way he would be able to move on either way.  
  
  


Memories flooded behind his hooded eyes once more. Holding hands at night where no one could see, kissing in the rain when feelings couldn't hide. Feelings that couldn't be contained...How he wished to go back, how he wished everything could just be a dream.   
  
  
_Everything is fine._  
  
  


When his eyes opened, finally, he still couldn't manage even a tear. When was the last time he cried? It was like every emotion had been drained from his soul from a young age, emotions that couldn't be brought back. But it was Ritsu who let him free in the first place. He just couldn't understand why things wouldn't work out.  
  
  
_Everything is fine._  
  


 

If what it took to see him again was this, he would do it. He would do anything.  
  
The blade, warm now, from staying clasped in his hands, shined bright in the shadows of his bedroom. Takano held it up as if admiring it, hesitating. Things would be fine after this. He kept telling himself, if only he could wake up soon, he could be in love again. 

 

  
Yokozawa.  
  
How would his best friend feel after this? Would he not be devastated by the news? Takano didn't even know anymore. He was unsure of everything...All he knew was that no one could match the love he had for the man he had lost.   
  
Maybe, just maybe, with this pain, he could be saved.  
  
He took a deep breath.  
  
"How selfish could I be...?" He laughed bitterly at the shaking of his hands. 

 

It wouldn't be fair to escape like this, he knew. But if even in his dreams...

_I just want to see you again._

Blood soaked the sheets, and Takano knew how he got to such a point-- he saw the blade drift across his wrist like a canvas. Beads of crimson spilled slowly at first, after the silver had ripped gently through his skin, and then began to spill in a rush, gushing out like a faucet. Red stained his shirt, his hands...his blood rushed faster, racing into the open air. He felt his fingers shake from the shock of it all. Maybe he was even a bit squeamish. 

If this is what it took...

He'd took another slash at his arm, watching the thickness pour out each time, and felt his consciousness fade. Would he be dreaming soon? He didn't have time to think anymore, release pulling at him. There was too much being lost, he couldn't stay awake any longer.

 

His final thoughts were of his mother. Did she even remember having him as a son? Did she even know he was alive, that he would die? He closed his eyes for the last time.  
  
_I don't want to wake up this time._

He would dream of Ritsu.  
  
  
Yokozawa would know, just from his empty desk the next day. He would head over in a rush, finding the man laid out gently on his mattress, wounds visible from a distance. He would cry, holding his head close to his chest, cursing someone who no longer existed--they were both gone. 

Not many would show up to his cold grave, but it was fine. 

It was fine now, because true love would continue in a dream-- far, far away. 

 

Holding hands in the dark where no one watched, kissing in the rain where feelings couldn't be contained. The dream was everlasting.

"I won't wake up from this, not this time."

And he kissed his lover, his Ritsu, on the other side. 

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't about me i swear i'M oKAY


End file.
